Absolutely Inbox

If you receive an email with several blank lines between each line or paragraph, such as the following, please condense it before blasting it back out to all your email buddies. This Smart Email Tip walks you through an example of how to turn a sure-to-annoy, deleted email into an emotional powerhouse that’s possibly forwarded ten thousand times or more.

Subject: Fwd: FW: FWD: Fw: You musT forward this NOW!!!!
 

I never forward these things but this is so spacial it make your head explode., Twice
 

.
 

This makes me cry so much MUCH that I JUST have to send it to you
 

try not to cry about these facts
 

 

1) When baby kittens faint an angel sings a song on a cloud to give it happy dreams
 

 

2) Last week a town in North Germany made kittens illegal
 

to adopt and an entire city in Guana heard angels crying.
 

This is true. The NEW YORK MAGAZINE had an story on it. Check your
 

facts its true.
 

 

3) Angels and kittens are found holding hands together in ancient literature all the time.
 

…
 

10) If you love kittens and angels, you must forward this email to twenty-five email buddies in the next ten minutes or fifty angels and kittens will crYU>> and hate you.

Recommendation

If you really must alert your friends that kittens and angels hold the key to each others' happiness, please:

• Remove excess blank lines from the email, allowing only a single carriage return at the ends of paragraphs. Do not use carriage returns at the ends of lines within the same paragraph. If you must create an intentional blank line, additional carriage returns are acceptable.
• Pull broken words or punctuation together. In the case above, the period sitting by itself a line or two after "Twice" needs to be brought up to just after "Twice."
• Condense the subject line from "Fwd: FW: FWD: Fw: You musT forward this NOW!!!!" to something more meaningful, such as "Kittens and Angels"
• Use the opportunity to correct a few mistakes, such as changing "cry so much MUCH" to "cry so much" and "I never forward these things but this is so spacial it make your head explode., Twice" to "I always forward these things because my head has exploded twice"

Benefits

Condensing does not take very long, as it's mostly a matter of deleting blank lines. It will dramatically increase the ease with which (and the likelihood that) your email will be read, and is simply good form.

Once you've adjusted the above email to something more like the following, you'll be ready to hit Send.

Subject: Kittens and Angels

I always forward these things because my head has exploded twice. This makes me cry so much that I just had to send it to you. Try not to cry about these facts.

1. When baby kittens faint an angel sings a song on a cloud to give it happy dreams.

2. Last week a town in North Germany made kittens illegal to adopt and an entire city in Guana heard angels crying. This is true. The NEW YORK MAGAZINE had an story on it. Check the facts -- it's true.

3. Angels and kittens are found holding hands together in ancient literature all the time.

...

10. If you love kittens and angels, you must forward this email to twenty-five email buddies in the next ten minutes or fifty angels and kittens will cry and hate you.

Bonus Tip

Learn to separate admittedly interesting angel and kitten folklore from weak attempts at blackmail. So in this case you can safely remove item "10" from the list above. The resulting email will have the same deeply-emotional impact on your reader and it will be less likely to be immediately deleted.